Homie, Lover, Friend...

Ok after some thought and a convo I was having with "Him", I've come to realize that after a certain age the term "boyfriend" just sounds silly to me.

My boss (32) has a "boyfriend." One if my clients today (56)was at the studio tryin to take pics for her new "boyfriend".

Maybe it's the linking of the word "boy" in there when youre talkin about a grown ass man that ruins the sound of it for me.

I had a "boyfriend" in the 10th grade... :-/

Lol, i know this is all real silly (shut up) I'm just lookin for opinions ...I've heard "boo" "man" "dude"

Like i've said thats my man, (boo always rubbed me wrong) , I've said my dude...But when u get grown and it's deeper than "i like him" what do u say?

That's my "significant other"?

Lmaoooooooooooo...ugh! I"m open to suggestions for a word to replace "boyfriend"...lol

All ideas are welcomed.

Deuces!

"Niggas try to tell me her head was insane....."

OK...so head, blow jobs, oral sex,knob-slobbin and whatever colorful titles u have for doing it...it all means the same thing. Suckin Dick.




So what I"m wondering in 2009 (after a few convo's with a few friends...) is...Is this still taboo?!

I mean really?! IS it?! My boy even asked me jokin...are there still girls that don't give head?!

That's like looking for a unicorn...or is it?

Personally I'm grown and ashamed of NOTHING I do. Within the 4 walls of my relationship with a person I know I love. His pleasure is my priority...so all bets are off. Game ON when the lights go out. (or stay on whatever the preference....but I digress)

There are still women in 2009 that turn their noses up and give the "wtf ...eeww" face when the topic of head comes up. Quit actin like a kid!

Now A. If you'll let him lick you walls dry but wont return the favor ur selfish and trust that wont happen for too much longer.
And you'll be sitting there mad as hell...lol





B. If you've never done it , HOW do you know you don't like it?

C. (Assuming you're doing it right) Once you see the look on his face (or hear the sounds ur causing a grown man to make) How can u NOT wanna do something that'll make his toes curl?



Don't be a selfish lover is my point. Now granted...They're men...amazingly so that DON'T like head (yeah i know)So it's not for everyone clearly. And there are just as many women out there that just don't do it well/correctly. Therefore don't get the desired results, so they don't see the point. ALSO understandable.

I've heard everything from it "tasting bad" to "feelin nasty in your mouth" to "gaggin on it" If you're a novice no ones askin u to swallow or deep throat it or any of that. But a real man that know you're tryin to please him and are puttin his pleasure before your own will stop at NOTHING to make sure you're taken care of...TRUST!

(I'm not talkin any dude on the street, but your man...you know. The one that LOVES you.)


So my questions to my female readers is whats your viewpoint on head? Giving and receiving.

Gentlemen whats your view on women that don't "ahem...return the favor?

I have a co-worker that's 32 that has NEVER given head. But she's in love now...head over heels. And stated that with THIS man, she'll stop at nothing to please him. I give her credit for that.

Of course there are exceptions to this, so don't flood the comment board with dumb stuff like "well he doesn't do it back"

Use ur head ladies...(literally) lmaoooo.

Deuces!

They tried...

I was mad at BET for the madess that got intertwined with the MJ Tributes...

But I did have to remind myself that with 72 hours to pull it together and alter the entire show ...They did what they could.

I was with dry eyes til the end, as I'm sure everyone was. But the last 5 min of the show brought the reality of it home. Janet was stunning, and so very strong.

I dunno why I keep fidning it so hard to blog about this..So I wont force it....

R.I.P

Here's the clip if you guys missed it.




Peace

Turmoil...

I have a weakness..It's becoming more and more apparent and it's got me feelin 9 million things at once. Love is one HELL of an emotion, believe me when I tell you. This is my third attempt at this blog and I'm gettin no where...but more and more twisted up as I type.

What do you do when you know what you want but I feels like it's juuuust out of your reach?

What do u do when the words don't come? And when they do, they sound all wrong?

What do you do when you're emotions feel like they're swallowing you up...?

I'm a total mess right now...tryin to hold myself together on the outside...

Feel like going away for a while, clearing my head, coming back to it with fresh eyes...

My heart feels like it's being squeezed, and I dunno how to loosen the grip....Or if i even want to.


Confusion is a bitch.

Peace...

Silence...

There are too many emotions, and too many thoughts. Praying for his family and everyone he's touched an inspired. I won't say too much because my minds too cluttered. And sometimes silence is the best tribute.

Rest In Peace MJ.

Michael Joseph Jackson

August 29th 1958 - June 25th 2009

Visuals...

Maybe it's the music, maybe it's cuz it's after midnight, maybe it's cuz I'm up thinkin, maybe it's "he"...I dunno.

But these visuals come to mind...Don't have alot of words for this post...So...Enjoy the Visuals..























These still don't quite do justice to what I'm thinkin/feelin...

But til I figure it out...Goodnight

Mood Music...

Yeah I can see this one...NYC at night...Me & "He" ;-)

Miss home....



*smiles*

Deuces!

P.S.A

This site is a hoooooot mess! www.messdressed.com.

Take a look, check it out u might see someone u recognize....sadly..I did...(true story)

Peace!

"Have an affair, act like an adult for once"...

Now before I get into this blog ( cuz it has the potential to get long) I just wanna say I don't endorse infidelity...I'm just playin "Devil's Advocate" on this topic. I've had a few convo's this week all separate and all on this topic and I found it pretty interesting...


The way of the world/our society is monogamy. 1 guy, 1 girl...yadda yadda etc etc...As u make the transition from "talkin" to "dating" to "that's my man/girl" to "wifey", to "engaged" to "married"...The monogamy requirement increases. My first question to my blog followers is...How realistic do u think this notion is? I mean before you answer that...Everyone knows that as people get older and grow they change as people. So keep that in mind as u respond.

My first convo on the topic was in NY with my boy...He's got a girl he's feelin pretty hard (though he doesn't wanna admit it) But He was kinda doin his own thing before he met her. You know how that goes. Anyhoo...He's slowing down a bit since he's feelin "the new chick" but he's had these on going "arrangements" prior to gettin with her. So his statement to me was..."I'm always gonna have those "arrangements" with said women, even if "new chick" became my girl.

So of course I was curious..

So you have an..."understanding" with these other women (2 to be exact) That it's not a relationship thing..it's really just a sexual "understanding". You'll have "new chick" at home. That's your main...but if one of ur "ahem..."understanding's" call...then its cool. No harm no foul. (to him)

Now he's not married, not engaged, really just dating/entering a relationship...But of course you KNOW "new chick" isn't aware of these "understanding's". And although I didn't ask, I'm sure the concept of her having some "understandings" of her own is out of the question...unless she keeps that to herself...lol

So moving on....Situation 2..My boy actually called and woke me up this morning cuz he said he had a question. So He was having a convo with the fellas and they were basically talkin about that point when u decide to propose. They said that since youre committing yourself to one 'ahem vagina for the rest of your life...all bets are off right up until the wedding. So basically they're saying...get all the ass u can get til you say "i do". Cuz once u say "i do" its a done deal...

Now this was also kinda interesting to me...My boy's question to me ...was "do women go on a spree of their own prior to the wedding" I told him in my opinion no...Once we decide we want to MARRY you, We don't view it as "one penis forever". (Well not ALL of us) Men view it was a life sentence, while women tend to view it more as a new beginning (in my opinion...)

So he was really like "wow" i thought both parties involved were going on (his words) "a fuckin spree" before the wedding...I was like um...no. Gross.

So he said ok, he was takin this info back to the fellas because according to him...they felt the women / brides-to-be were doin the same thing! and he's be callin me again later..( so there may be a part 2)


Now situation number 3 is from yet another convo....In a nutshell,(cuz this is gettin long) guy likes girl girl is kinda feelin guy...both are in "situations" as T.I put it lol. But neither care. Once again another "understanding" i guess...

So i guess I'm wondering how realistic the concept of "fidelity" is anymore. With so many "open marriages" arrangements" situations" etc etc it's seeming like the whole world is becoming alot more accepting of the "don't ask don't tell" approach to relationships.

Will & Jada are rumored to have one...and regardless of how much you dispute it, i think EVERYONE has a certain someone in their life...where...relationship or not...If THAT person wanted it....they could get it. I'm just sayin...



Now I do remember back in the day when I played those kinda games...(you all have so don't judge me). You know the stuff u see in old music videos...lol

You're out with ur dude and u see side dude...you give each other that "understanding" nod, cuz he's out with his chick too...

So many artists have written about this, (Alicia Key's "Mr. Man", Pleasure P "Boyfriend #2", Tweet "Call Me") I could go on...but u get me... so many videos depict this scene...just makes me wonder...

So feedback people...once again let me say ..I"m a HOPELESS romantic and kinda old school in alot of ways when it comes to relationships...so I'm just wondering...In this day and age am I the one who's out of touch...?

Deauces!

Life ....revisited PT.2

Ok first off lemmie apologize cuz I been slackin on my pimpin...I haven't been much of a blogger lately...Life's been carryin my along pretty quickly lately.

I recently got back from NY and as usual I always miss my city. *tear*
My pics are postcard worthy but i TOOK these, lol









Anyhoo, my trips home are always ....interesting for lack of a better word (thesaurus) lol

Let's start with the "Case of the Ex"...You can officially put a fork in that one. Thats done. (and has been for QUITE some time, And oddly enough...I don't feel so bad. I thought I would. But I think its a combination of knowing A. He's never gonna be the man I need him to be. B. I'm always gonna love me more than he EVER will...and C. I DESERVE way better!

He played himself royally this trip.(No surprise there) No need for the details...It's a pretty wack story. Let's just say its like the shutter's were opened after years of being in a dim room.




(No tryin to be poetic or all cheesy) But I saw/see him totally different after my most recent visit home. The "flame" had definitely gone out long ago. It's the end of an era...lol. But I don't regret it, I have good memories...and I have some that will ALWAYS make me cry. But it is what it is...You live, learn and move on. Hakuna Matata (it means "No Worries") Buahahhahahhaa!! *the LION KING people!!*




Wish him the best tho... ;-) I guess he'll make SOME woman ("ahem girl) really happy one day...Just not THIS woman ;-)


Now I DID get to see some of my BEST buddies/homies like my baby boy/bff /dude/buddy lol Frank White while i was home. And it felt just like old times. Like i never missed a beat. Guess that's how it always is when you're around friends/people that love/understand u. They're a HUGE part of what I miss so much about NY. There's NOTHING that compares to having people in your life that know you, accept u flaws and all, don't judge u, and love u REGARDLESS of it all at the end of the day





There's a person or three i DIDN'T get to see, but a week is never long enough...so there's always next time.

But I DID get to spend a good amount of time with one of the most IMPORTANT people in my life...(spoke abt him in a previous post) But He's my best friend, and is ALWAYS there for me rain/shine without fail, and has gone and will still go above and beyond for me without ANY hesitation.

I've NEVER had anyone in my life that compares to him and like i said in the other post im LUCKY, forget that BLESSED to have him.

I'm tryin to not make this too long and drawn out, but f*@k it this is MY blog, lol.

He's sums up everything there is to sum up about friendship/love.

And he definitely contributed a HUGE part to how much I enjoyed my trip home. Couldn't PAY me to let this one go... ;-) His kind is rare, and i LOVE him for it.

I've come back to the "A" already thinkin about my NEXT visit, as well as feeling alot LIGHTER (lol) alot more at ease, alot happier, and alot more focused.

It's amazing how emotionally exhausting things can be til they just don't matter anymore. I'm breathing easy now.

My priorities are in order FINALLY, and I can see quite CLEARLY who matters, who dosent, and who has my best interest at heart.


Til next time...



Deuces...