I'm sure everyone has made someone proud in their lives at some point right? Be it academically, career wise, personal decision....but it's jarring to realize you can't remember hearing that...ever. Im not gonna disclose too much family info on here, but I've been trying to self diagnose....or at least figure myself out better. Single mom, 2 kids...dad, doin him. Sounds too typical right, but I never wanted for anything...if I didn't have anything I needed I couldn't name it....but there's nothing like seeing someone proud of u, their eyes shining with admiration...smiles, love, I've been that proud before and I always try to let it be known....I'm proud of u, what you've done, how hard you work, you've come from....
What am I doing, or have I done to make anyone proud? I'm not about to post my resume and accomplishments...but things like this shape your image of yourself...I've graduated, gone to college, have a career I enjoy, never went to jail, or got knocked up young....stayed under the radar enough to almost go unnoticed I guess...maybe that's what was wrong...maybe it's knowing people that have done such huge things while I'm just here being me...and that's not very noteworthy in a world full of so many people doing...what to me seems like so much more...I'm not comparing myself, or at least not trying to....but it chilled me to sut here today and realize I have no idea the last time if EVER I've made someone proud....fighting back tears at this thought. I swear my blog won't stay this depressing...it's just serving as my haven right now..gotta stay smiling for the rest of the world. Just trying to figure out what happens when just being you....isn't really enough.
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