Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Friday, April 2, 2010

Say Aaahh...

What better way to say "good morning", Than to give some morning head... :-)







I follow alot of blogs and I found this one www.blogxilla.com (Check it out...pure hilarity)

I'm re-posting this one cuz frankly I loved it...lol.




27 Logical Reasons you Should Preform Oral Sex in the Morning.


More oral sex should take place in the morning. In a perfect world each day would start off with oral sex because after head, everything else is less important. Ladies imagine if instead of your alarm clock, your man woke you up to a tongue spanking. You won’t have to roll over and smack your hand against the snooze button, but instead you can grab the back of your guys head and press your lady parts against his mouth. Fellas imagine waking up to slurps and a wet crotch instead of that annoying buzzing! Wouldn’t that be great. So to all the couples out there and people who plan on waking up next to someone in the near future here is a list of reasons and things to say in order to get more oral sex in the morning.

  • Vagina taste better after an evening marinating in last nights juices.
  • Morning wood needs to be polished.
  • After having an orgasm in someone’s mouth, your boss complaining doesn’t matter as much. You can just think, ‘hey asshole you obviously didn’t have what I had this morning so nanny nanny poo poo.’ Only don’t say that outloud becase you will lose your job.
  • Semen helps kill gingivitis.
  • You like having a smile on your face in the morning.
  • While your deep in dream mode, your significant other becomes, Nicki Minaj, Trey Songz, or whoever it is you dream about and for a few brief moment it’s them giving you head and it seems oh so real.
  • When you realize it’s the person you had sex with the night before it’s really not that bad of a constellation prize.
  • Your dog shouldn’t be the only living thing in the house getting it’s crotch licked each morning.
  • Wouldn’t we all like to be breakfast for once?
  • After morning head, we can have morning sex.
  • She can’t get pregnant if she takes it in her mouth.
  • Why not wake up doing something you actually like doing?
  • Because oral sex is better than oatmeal and just as clumpy
  • It won’t be the first time she had something white and gooey in her mouth before noon.
  • Vagina is the only thing that actually taste better than bacon.
  • He can walk around smelling her on his upper lip all day long.
  • I’m sure that is how Adam and Eve woke up before they ate the apple.
  • Because we can
  • Because it’s great.
  • Because no matter how hard you try you really can’t think of a reason not to do it.
  • A logical reason.
  • It’s worth being late…
  • If you tell your boss why you were late and send them a link to this blog you won’t get written up.
  • Semen helps your skin glow.
  • Vagina juice in the morning has the same amount of vitiman c as orange juice.
  • Would you really rather have a day without oral sex in the morning?
  • Because practice makes perfect.

Truth and Comedy...gotta love it!!

Deuces!!


**DEAD**

Ok so it has to have happened to EVERY female at least once. You meet a dude u like, you finally sleep over...and BAM u have to take a crap...What do u do?

(No seriously i wanna hear some funny boo-boo stories)

But this vid had me dyyyyyyyyyin...I almost felt bad for her...lol



Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Ok Kim...


ROFLMAOOOOO!!!! I'm sorry i had to post this.... *DEAD*

Tell em why U mad kim.... buhahahahahahahahhahahahahhaaaaa!!!


(Clikc the pic for full image)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Wordage!





!!!!!!!!!!!! .....I SO already blogged abt this SAME THING a while back!!!
Peace....

Friday, September 25, 2009

Wtf- ism.....of the Day.

This was my exact convo with my boy (ahem') Via text..

Him : Hey to you too...

Me: Um, Random....Hi how are u?

Him: chillin thanks for responding THIS TIME. You didnt reply to my forward

INSERT HERE :I don't do forwards, I think they're wack as hell. I stopped doing those in like 02'

Me: I was at work and I don't usually respond to forwards. You took that personal?

Him:
Yeah but you couldve made an exception cuz it was me...


INSERT HERE: Exception to WHAT exactly...

Me: Well it was a FORWARD so I thought you sent that out to everyone not just me.


Him: I don't send messages out to everyone about huggin them...what I look like a bisexual?


INSERT HERE: MY blank stare... :-| and before I could text back...

Him: I'm NOT!!!

INSERT HERE:Whoa kimosabe...U sure abt that...Cuz I'm not all of a sudden *raised eyebrow*

Me: Umm....bisexual? No (not til now) I just didn't think I was the only girl you sent it to

Him: You my babygirl OK?

INSERT HERE: What just happened?...Something you wanna share my dude? Now this is when i ask myself WHY I'm even entertaining this madness...had to be due to IMMENSE boredom at work.

Me: ...uh...well sorry I didnt respond.


Now....WHEN exactly did dudes become this sensitive and butt-hurt acting?!

This shyt is Soooooooooooooooooooo not cute!

OK don't get me wrong, I love a man that can express himself properly when his emotions come into play. Be it through actions, or verbally. Nothing more attractive than a man that can EXPRESS how he feels about u.

But this shyt right here?! COME ON!!!!

SMDH. So after a little more back and forth random banter...

Me: Well I'm at work sooo...

Him: I would give u a nice body massage when u got home and a nice bubble bath. I would bathe you and put u in your night clothes on for my hard working queen


INSERT HERE :Me gaggin, cuz aside from that being all kinds of grammatically wrong, It was wack as hell...smh


ME: Awwww ( didn't know what the hell else to say to that)

Him: I like to see you smile. (Did I say I was smiling?)I remember your smile

Me:
OK look at u tryin to make me blush... ( yeah i was bullshittin slightly, but so what? )


Him: Y would u say that?! y don't u think i care for you as much as I do?! y is that so hard for you to notice?!


INSERT HERE: Um...WHAT?! Wait...did he just come at me on some real emo shyt!? Is this what its all about now?!

Me: um...u ok? I was jokin...

Him: O, OK baby


INSERT HERE: Now this is just ONE convo
I chose to share.But this madness has been QUITE common for 09'. So Color me confuzuled.



I've been encountering all kinds of madness when it comes to the gentlemen this year. And I'm not quite sure what is causing it. Venus in retrograde? Jupiter aligned with Mars? Some other such tom-foolery...Or just one big huge practical joke that EVERYONE but me is in on?

Guys...I love ya'll. I truly do. My closest friends in the world actually are guys ( aside from my mommy :). I'm a sap.)

Anyway...PULL YOUR PANTIES UP!! THIS SHYT ISN'T SEXY IN THE LEAST! Ya'll are coming off just a hair too bitchtastic for my taste...
....aaaaaaaaaaaaaand exhale...

I just had to vent and get that off my chest.

Peace!

Monday, June 22, 2009

P.S.A

This site is a hoooooot mess! www.messdressed.com.

Take a look, check it out u might see someone u recognize....sadly..I did...(true story)

Peace!