Ache..

That dull aching that comes from missing...not just the person, but the things you associate with them. That easy affection, hand holding, hugs, quick kisses at red lights...just the nearness...of just being in the same room even when we're not touching each other....Talkin, laughing, tv...

 

Guess Im just in that place today...dealing with that dull ache. The need for that connection, and the understanding growing and changing but missing some of the initial innocence...those gestures that kept me up at night hugging my pillow and smiling...thinking and remembering...

 

Songs, movies, all kinds of things flip that switch...I love loving ....but when that ache is present , and the person isn't....I wish for an off switch. Guess I just miss him...

How does it feel...

 

Keep humming that D'angelo song as I try to find the words...to descibe how it feels....the in,the out, the faster, then slower, the wetness, the friction, ....I've never been one to "kiss & tell" but I'm always up for a challenge...

Being descriptive ... That I can do. It's all about the build up though, and we..( he and I) are excellent at the build up..We set a damn good scene, I think that's what makes the chemistry between us solid...

 

That kisses,the breathing, the hands...the heart rate. By the time I get to feel his skin on mine I'm ready to explode right there. That gasp..upon him sliding in is the moment I live for....reminisce about.

 

Now words, just breathing, no clothes, just sheets, him hovering over me feeling the weight of his body pinning mine down and I can feel him against my thighs...the throbbing, the heat...and by the time he's that close I'm soaked...I feel the head first and I always gasp and shiver just a little, mainly from anticipation cause I know him, the way he fits me like the back of my hand. I love that. I know the size, the shape, the way it fits in my palm...(or mouth). I run my fingers over it first, always have to...something about how hard, smooth and warm he is...i have to trace the head with my fingers..always have to. I know his taste, the scent of his skin....He fills me up. Initially..always gradual. He likes to tease me, build that anticipation..til I grab it myself and slide it in. Always a little resistance, I'm always kinda tight but I love that...him having to ease his way in....almost force his way in. That resistance, that tightness allows me to feel every inch of him. I can feel him throbbing and I always try to grip back for every throb I feel. I almost don't want to be as wet sometimes...so I can feeeeel more. That must sound crazy, but it's true...the more friction...feeling him grazing my walls is nothing short of euphoric. The friction of his skin inside me....the rubbing, pulling, the heat mixed with the wetness of it all is like no other feeling. Once past the initial strokes, he gets so deep. Hits walls I didn't know I had...reaches the back and still somehow goes deeper. Almost like he grows to fit me once he's inside cause once he is there's not an inch of space he dosent fill.

The veins that become visible the harder he gets...I swear I can even feel those once he's inside me. I'd keep him there hours at a time if I could...there's no one metaphor that can do that feeling justice...looks like I'm needing...him again...after all this description...(and again, and again, and again....)

Hope that was descriptive enough....

 

 

 

Make it like....

 Poetry, poetry, poetry. Everything wrong you see make it alright..make it like...~ Tamia

 

Lost medium I believe, and I miss it so much. There once was a time where i'd get the most beautiful most heartfelt words ever inked. No by email, text, or any of that. But in his own writing. His penmanship that would demonstrate his love for me, his nerves visable in the letters and lines, inking something so personal with the intent of giving it away...with the intent of giving me a part of him on paper that I'd keep forever. .. I miss that deep down to the core of me. His words on paper were the most beautiful....the most expressive....I'd give anything....

 

But that's not what this post was supposed to be about....? Or was it...

But my favorite poet...Pablo Neruda, has been heavy on my mind recently...oh what it would feel like to open a letter again, see the beautiful words on the page in his writing...SEE his feelings for me wrapped in those words...hopeless romantic I am....total sucker for it. But the true romance...that passion, that sheer feeling and emotion...that seeing the actual writing knowing it was written with only YOU in mind can convey....god i miiiiiiiss it. I want to read something again that brings tears to my eyes, butterflies to my stomach, that feeling of my heart beating faster then slower then faster...from knowing not only that someone feels so strongly for me...but thought enough of me in this digital age to write. Write til his hand hurt, write with me filling his thoughts, so strong he can still smell me, taste me , feel me....and spill all that into the pages...that passion on paper. Leaving me his heart on the page. 

 

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” 
― Pablo Neruda

Words...his words...I miss them.

I think I luv her...

One word...DOPE.

This is the kinda of stuff that gets me wishin for city nights, candle light, hips, lips, n- fingertips....

"sigh...Her voice is so pretty makes the words come off totally different. I've listened to "Suffocate" a million times. Was my fav J. Holiday song. But something about her version makes me want to put on something sexy and cater to him. Or just have a night with myself...and the music. But I'm starting to ramble. Check out her youtube chanel for some more cover's she's done. (goes to buy an acoustic guitar)

Enjoy...

Def feeling some type of way right now... ; - ) (I'm such a girl...)

Peace.

Wordage!

!!!!!!!!!!!! .....I SO already blogged abt this SAME THING a while back!!!
Peace....

Visuals...

Maybe it's the music, maybe it's cuz it's after midnight, maybe it's cuz I'm up thinkin, maybe it's "he"...I dunno.

But these visuals come to mind...Don't have alot of words for this post...So...Enjoy the Visuals..























These still don't quite do justice to what I'm thinkin/feelin...

But til I figure it out...Goodnight

Game so tight! (a.k.a young boy chronicles vol. 2)

OK...for my young boy chronicles part 2.

My OTHER lil homegirl Kiana (18). Just recently went to prom. Her lil prom date was so excited that she agreed to go with him...He A. asked her what kind of car she wanted to ride to prom in...and rented it.

B. Also rented a hotel room at the Marriott (not cheap). When they opened up the door, there were rose petals all over the floor leading into the room....

He then walked over to the curtains, opened them up to a view of downtown ATL...(nicely done young man)

He took her hand and told her "I don't have much...but will you please be my girlfriend?".....

*throws laptop and walks away*.....

@&%*^&%&@*%@(#%&)@!&&^!$^!P(^!$#^**$#^)!*)#^!!!!!!


OK..I'm back.

Like WTF...seriously?!

Smh...I need some of my male bloggers to shed some light on this for me...is it that ya'll REALLY just don't try as hard as you get older? Are these lil boy's just on a mission to show ya'll up...?

Does the creativity lessen with age?

Amazing!

The end.

WTF!! (a.k.a Young boy chronicles vol. 1)

Ok so like...I'm mad as hell...

My LITTLE homegirl (shes 16) gets a gift today from her boyfriend (he's 18). This lil dude gave her a watch...(thats not the good part)..He took the battery out before he gave it to her...

He had stopped it at exactly 8:29..When she asked him why...He told her 8:29 is when they first started going out (august 29th for u slow ones). So he gave her a watch with the time stopped at 8:29 so that whenever she looked at it she'd think of him...

OK ..WHAT THHHHHHEEEE HELL Grown Men?! Step ya game up like ASAP!!!

This lil dude is either A. Creative as HELL
B. Reading from the ULTIMATE handbook of Pimpin
C. Got one hell of an older brother , cousin, friend etc...that put him on...
SOMETHING!

I really think young dudes still have to WORK hard for theirs...Older dudes kinda...quit tyring as much...(not ALL) don't bite my head off...I'm just saying...

I'm a HOPELESS romantic...but i TRULY feel as men get older they don't feel like they have to try as hard the longer we're with them...I could be wrong...and I'm not generalizing...Smh.

I'm happy for my babygirl, cuz ya'll KNOW she's gassed right about now...lol


At 18 lil dude knows a lil creativity can go a loooooooooooooooooooong way.

Try it.

The end!

Crush much?

Whens the last time you can say you had a bonifide crush? I mean that crush that makes u do the gayest junk...lol. Like go outta your way to walk by where you know they're gonna be just to see if they're there of if they'll see YOU? lol

Where if the phone rings and its them u try to let it ring a couple times so it wont seem like you re pressed, lol

Or when you know u wanna call them but u second guess yourself...like..."wait no..." let him call me". That high school bullshyt sucks! Lmaooooooooooooooo.

But when you start feeling someone like that again isn't it the worst how fluttery they can make u feel?



Blah!




Gay moment over....

Romance...

I'd hate to think is TRULY dead...but when I read the real thing...the stuff they put in books and movies...it makes me wish I was living back in the days of chivalry, courting, love letters, "sigh..

I'm a sap to the core seriously...( yeah its geigh) but so what?

Here's some of what I been reading...if u can't follow the lingo...I'm sorry, I guess I'm just smarter than u...(I ,kid, I kid...but no...seriously)

Beethoven - Love Letters of Great Men

July 6, in the morning

My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -

Your faithful LUDWIG.

Sigh....when's the last time someone wrote YOU a love letter? I can't even remember the last time I got one....Maybe we don't make dudes work hard enough anymore...Maybe dudes just don't know any better now-a-days...Whatever the reason...I'll just stick to the great writers of yesterday...

Hopeless Romantic...

Ok so I've come to the realization that I'm a total hopeless romantic...

I was thinking about Sex & The City (my fav movie to date) and really about the show in general because I"ve been a fan since day 1. That show's made me shop, cry, and realate on so many levels for so many reasons...



What woman CAN"T relate to a "Mr Big" we've all had one...(or still do). But sitting around in my sweats reading fashion mag's and just THINKING on my day off has made me realize how much I love LOVE. I'm not soft or naive by any means...I'm just ...



I mean I live for rainy day's in bed, convo's that last all night, holding hands, walking on the beach at night, kissing in the rain, love letters, poetry, slowdancing,..."sigh...



So on my list of top 3 movies to watch on a cold, rainy day in bed alone or with "him" are

And my ABSOLUTE Favorite to date...





We're all want "him" (figuratively of course...nothing against Christ Noth, he's just not my type) Mr. Big..."sigh...

Anyone that watched the TV series remembers EXACTLY what part this was...I cried so hard....




But yeah...I love LOVE, the good, the bad, and the ugly...It makes me feel like I"m LIVING...

"Some people are settling down, some are settling...and some refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies" ~ Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City the Movie)

Besos...