Make it like....

 Poetry, poetry, poetry. Everything wrong you see make it alright..make it like...~ Tamia

 

Lost medium I believe, and I miss it so much. There once was a time where i'd get the most beautiful most heartfelt words ever inked. No by email, text, or any of that. But in his own writing. His penmanship that would demonstrate his love for me, his nerves visable in the letters and lines, inking something so personal with the intent of giving it away...with the intent of giving me a part of him on paper that I'd keep forever. .. I miss that deep down to the core of me. His words on paper were the most beautiful....the most expressive....I'd give anything....

 

But that's not what this post was supposed to be about....? Or was it...

But my favorite poet...Pablo Neruda, has been heavy on my mind recently...oh what it would feel like to open a letter again, see the beautiful words on the page in his writing...SEE his feelings for me wrapped in those words...hopeless romantic I am....total sucker for it. But the true romance...that passion, that sheer feeling and emotion...that seeing the actual writing knowing it was written with only YOU in mind can convey....god i miiiiiiiss it. I want to read something again that brings tears to my eyes, butterflies to my stomach, that feeling of my heart beating faster then slower then faster...from knowing not only that someone feels so strongly for me...but thought enough of me in this digital age to write. Write til his hand hurt, write with me filling his thoughts, so strong he can still smell me, taste me , feel me....and spill all that into the pages...that passion on paper. Leaving me his heart on the page. 

 

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” 
― Pablo Neruda

Words...his words...I miss them.

Shorty got skills...Shorty for gifts...(NSFW)

Ya'll know what I mean. Ladies we can be some cocky S.O.B's when it comes to our sex game in certain areas. I've been guilty of it, not gonna lie. We talk...sometimes I think we're worse than guys. (I'm sorry fells its true) We can be just as graphic with our girls, just as raw. We too have tips, ticks, etc etc that we can pull out our hat when we wanna go for the gold.

If you can think we got "bomb-head" why can't we admit to ourselves that "hell yeah we do" lol

I KNOW what I'm good at in the bedroom. When i want his toes to curl or his eyes to roll back, or his breath to quicken to know EXACTLY what to do. So ladies what are your skills? Lol. Fella's what is your girl bomb at?! Can she ride a mean one,

Maybe she's flexible as hell...





Maybe she can just TAKE it like a champ...Even I'm impressed with THIS...

What tricks can YOU pull out the bag? Fella's maybe ya'll have some tricks WE don't' know about, or should I say can't always SEE ;-) ...lol .

Just doin this post has me wanting to add some more "skills" to my repertoire. lol :-)

(Sorry if this was kinda pornish...but its like that sometimes...lol)

So share... ; -)

Deuces!

Hump Day Post

Stolen Concept lol. I'm not one for the "Hump Day" posts...but today I felt like doin one for someone special...




Peace...

Homie, Lover, Friend...

Ok after some thought and a convo I was having with "Him", I've come to realize that after a certain age the term "boyfriend" just sounds silly to me.

My boss (32) has a "boyfriend." One if my clients today (56)was at the studio tryin to take pics for her new "boyfriend".

Maybe it's the linking of the word "boy" in there when youre talkin about a grown ass man that ruins the sound of it for me.

I had a "boyfriend" in the 10th grade... :-/

Lol, i know this is all real silly (shut up) I'm just lookin for opinions ...I've heard "boo" "man" "dude"

Like i've said thats my man, (boo always rubbed me wrong) , I've said my dude...But when u get grown and it's deeper than "i like him" what do u say?

That's my "significant other"?

Lmaoooooooooooo...ugh! I"m open to suggestions for a word to replace "boyfriend"...lol

All ideas are welcomed.

Deuces!

Turmoil...

I have a weakness..It's becoming more and more apparent and it's got me feelin 9 million things at once. Love is one HELL of an emotion, believe me when I tell you. This is my third attempt at this blog and I'm gettin no where...but more and more twisted up as I type.

What do you do when you know what you want but I feels like it's juuuust out of your reach?

What do u do when the words don't come? And when they do, they sound all wrong?

What do you do when you're emotions feel like they're swallowing you up...?

I'm a total mess right now...tryin to hold myself together on the outside...

Feel like going away for a while, clearing my head, coming back to it with fresh eyes...

My heart feels like it's being squeezed, and I dunno how to loosen the grip....Or if i even want to.


Confusion is a bitch.

Peace...

A case of the X...

So yeah everyones got one... A "HIM"...
That no matter HOW much you're done with...

can still call u up after a long as day and months of not talking. And get into a heated debate with over who's fault it was that things ended the way they did...(Three years later...) And the emotions that coincided with that point in time can still be dragged back up.

"sigh...*slaps forehead"

I was peachy til the blasted phone rang
and i had to do a double take at the freakin number...

Havent heard that voice (or thought about hearing it...) in forever. But after 5 minutes of cordial convo...it heats up!

and fast...

Next thing i know we're talking over eachother and yelling and its no ones fault all over again.... Then (after and hour of this bullshit) the convo ends...peacefully enough...with a truce...(for now) And an "i'll hit u up tomorrow" which may or may not happen...

He and I...(we'll just call him "G") have been at this since i was 21...and he was 24...

We we're kids...now we're both PAST grown and still gettin under eachothers skin like it was day 1...with no end in site.

900 miles ( at the moment) seperate us...yet all it takes is an hour long phone convo to bring it all crashing back... What is it?...I KNOW im not the only one with a "HIM". If you say i am ...u bitches are LYING!

And even though I'd love to stay mad and say eff him...human nature wont let me remember the bad...without also reminding me of the good...( there was alot of both ) It's...thought provoking at the very least...the "what if's" , the "should i's" the "remember when's" that make me laugh, smile to myself, get mad as all hell and hate him, or make me cry cuz i wish i had some of it back...

These are the times i hate being a girl...we're more emotion driven by nature...Guys seem to have that "off switch" and they can flick that shyt at the speed of light... Or maybe thats just how they "play hard" to us...

Lol, I like to think dudes go home and cry in their pillows the way we do...lol (i know that shyts a stretch) But yeah..tonight was my latest encounter with "HIM" and now im up at 1:30 am, still all hype, still thinking, now typing, and torn between blocking him out and wishing i could go back to "back then" knowing what i know now about me, him...life...everything.

As much as i can beat myself over the head wondering...WHY do i even answer the damn phone.. The follow-up question/comment is ..."Well shyt...why's he still CALLING? It's never ending...and i truly believe some people will end up in your life in some way shape or form...forever...I think he's one of those... Wether thats good or bad..i dont know...But it just is...

I'm not DAFT (yeah i said "Daft" screw u...read a book) enough to think we'll end up back together all peachy and shyt...But there's definately SOMETHING...

What to call it , i have no clue...but its something...
The old addage..."everything happens for a reason" i guess it's true... So we'll see...but heavy is th mind of "ME" right now...all cuz of "HIM"


Peace...