So yeah everyones got one... A "HIM"...
That no matter HOW much you're done with...
can still call u up after a long as day and months of not talking. And get into a heated debate with over who's fault it was that things ended the way they did...(Three years later...) And the emotions that coincided with that point in time can still be dragged back up.
"sigh...*slaps forehead"
I was peachy til the blasted phone rang
and i had to do a double take at the freakin number...
Havent heard that voice (or thought about hearing it...) in forever. But after 5 minutes of cordial convo...it heats up!
and fast...
Next thing i know we're talking over eachother and yelling and its no ones fault all over again.... Then (after and hour of this bullshit) the convo ends...peacefully enough...with a truce...(for now) And an "i'll hit u up tomorrow" which may or may not happen...
He and I...(we'll just call him "G") have been at this since i was 21...and he was 24...
We we're kids...now we're both PAST grown and still gettin under eachothers skin like it was day 1...with no end in site.
900 miles ( at the moment) seperate us...yet all it takes is an hour long phone convo to bring it all crashing back... What is it?...I KNOW im not the only one with a "HIM". If you say i am ...u bitches are LYING!
And even though I'd love to stay mad and say eff him...human nature wont let me remember the bad...without also reminding me of the good...( there was alot of both ) It's...thought provoking at the very least...the "what if's" , the "should i's" the "remember when's" that make me laugh, smile to myself, get mad as all hell and hate him, or make me cry cuz i wish i had some of it back...
These are the times i hate being a girl...we're more emotion driven by nature...Guys seem to have that "off switch" and they can flick that shyt at the speed of light... Or maybe thats just how they "play hard" to us...
Lol, I like to think dudes go home and cry in their pillows the way we do...lol (i know that shyts a stretch) But yeah..tonight was my latest encounter with "HIM" and now im up at 1:30 am, still all hype, still thinking, now typing, and torn between blocking him out and wishing i could go back to "back then" knowing what i know now about me, him...life...everything.
As much as i can beat myself over the head wondering...WHY do i even answer the damn phone.. The follow-up question/comment is ..."Well shyt...why's he still CALLING? It's never ending...and i truly believe some people will end up in your life in some way shape or form...forever...I think he's one of those... Wether thats good or bad..i dont know...But it just is...
I'm not DAFT (yeah i said "Daft" screw u...read a book) enough to think we'll end up back together all peachy and shyt...But there's definately SOMETHING...
What to call it , i have no clue...but its something...
The old addage..."everything happens for a reason" i guess it's true... So we'll see...but heavy is th mind of "ME" right now...all cuz of "HIM"
Peace...
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2 comments:
Oooh I most def have a him, it's crazy as soon as I see his number I get butterflies but after 30 mins of convo Im ready to break his effin neck & I remember why we're not together, the funny thing is that he is ALWAYS the one calling I guess he knows that I will ALWAYS answer
~Stay Chic
Wow it's so funny that I read this today. As I was driving to work this morning I thought about "HIM" and the "what if". We were together 3 years and been apart 5 months so its still kinda fresh but I can def feel where you coming from. I hate being a girl sometimes too.
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