Friday, September 25, 2009


Is my absolute FAVORITE season...
A. Cuz my bday is in sept.
B. Cuz I ADORE Boots!!

So I wouldnt be me if I didnt present to you my fall boot's wishlist...
Some I Love, Some I'm...thinkin

Saw these on a girl in the mall and they look 10 million times hotter in person!

These have me torn..they look like they can be pulled off with the right look..I'm just surprised jean boots r makin a comeback.

These dont count as boots, I'm just waiting for them to go on

I love these cuz I like the challenge of dressing DOWN such an ornate boot!

These are just sexy...


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND The newest addition to my closet/shoe family!!!
My Birthday Gift!!!!! :)


Where yo BOSS at?"

"You don't have to love me, You don't even have to LIKE me...But you WILL respect me...
Cuz I'm a BOSS!"



I speak to my mom daily...

She called me today when I got off work to tell me she just felt like hearing my voice...

So me being the cheeseball that i am...I was like "Awwww, isn't that special"

So she says (totally serious...) "You are special...more special than you know"

And even as I'm typin this I'm tearing up...My relationship with my mom is very unique...But that's for another post.

Funny how things like that can make your whole year...The older I get the more I grow to truly appreciate my mommy.

I'm blessed enough to have alot of people in my life that truly do love me...But nothing has ever and will ever compare to the way my mom can and does.

I Love her...Just felt like sharing that.

Wtf- ism.....of the Day.

This was my exact convo with my boy (ahem') Via text..

Him : Hey to you too...

Me: Um, Random....Hi how are u?

Him: chillin thanks for responding THIS TIME. You didnt reply to my forward

INSERT HERE :I don't do forwards, I think they're wack as hell. I stopped doing those in like 02'

Me: I was at work and I don't usually respond to forwards. You took that personal?

Yeah but you couldve made an exception cuz it was me...

INSERT HERE: Exception to WHAT exactly...

Me: Well it was a FORWARD so I thought you sent that out to everyone not just me.

Him: I don't send messages out to everyone about huggin them...what I look like a bisexual?

INSERT HERE: MY blank stare... :-| and before I could text back...

Him: I'm NOT!!!

INSERT HERE:Whoa kimosabe...U sure abt that...Cuz I'm not all of a sudden *raised eyebrow*

Me: Umm....bisexual? No (not til now) I just didn't think I was the only girl you sent it to

Him: You my babygirl OK?

INSERT HERE: What just happened?...Something you wanna share my dude? Now this is when i ask myself WHY I'm even entertaining this madness...had to be due to IMMENSE boredom at work.

Me: ...uh...well sorry I didnt respond.

Now....WHEN exactly did dudes become this sensitive and butt-hurt acting?!

This shyt is Soooooooooooooooooooo not cute!

OK don't get me wrong, I love a man that can express himself properly when his emotions come into play. Be it through actions, or verbally. Nothing more attractive than a man that can EXPRESS how he feels about u.

But this shyt right here?! COME ON!!!!

SMDH. So after a little more back and forth random banter...

Me: Well I'm at work sooo...

Him: I would give u a nice body massage when u got home and a nice bubble bath. I would bathe you and put u in your night clothes on for my hard working queen

INSERT HERE :Me gaggin, cuz aside from that being all kinds of grammatically wrong, It was wack as hell...smh

ME: Awwww ( didn't know what the hell else to say to that)

Him: I like to see you smile. (Did I say I was smiling?)I remember your smile

OK look at u tryin to make me blush... ( yeah i was bullshittin slightly, but so what? )

Him: Y would u say that?! y don't u think i care for you as much as I do?! y is that so hard for you to notice?!

INSERT HERE: Um...WHAT?! Wait...did he just come at me on some real emo shyt!? Is this what its all about now?!

Me: um...u ok? I was jokin...

Him: O, OK baby

INSERT HERE: Now this is just ONE convo
I chose to share.But this madness has been QUITE common for 09'. So Color me confuzuled.

I've been encountering all kinds of madness when it comes to the gentlemen this year. And I'm not quite sure what is causing it. Venus in retrograde? Jupiter aligned with Mars? Some other such tom-foolery...Or just one big huge practical joke that EVERYONE but me is in on?

Guys...I love ya'll. I truly do. My closest friends in the world actually are guys ( aside from my mommy :). I'm a sap.)

Anyway...PULL YOUR PANTIES UP!! THIS SHYT ISN'T SEXY IN THE LEAST! Ya'll are coming off just a hair too bitchtastic for my taste...
....aaaaaaaaaaaaaand exhale...

I just had to vent and get that off my chest.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

Skeletons in the Closet...

So many skeletons in the careful not to get tripped up by all those bones...



Too Much or Not At All..

Crazy...but that in a nutshell I'm noticing is how I approach life. Be it love, money, success, etc etc...

If I want it/love it/need it...I've got tunnel vision...I go harder than hard. But just like that...When I feel all my efforts are for naught...You(it) can cease to exist to me ...just...thatquick!

Now don't get me wrong...I'm sure it sounds like bitchery on a smallish scale...It's not a conscious effort (I don't think). I just...stop caring...and when I stop caring...I can't (in most cases) reverse it.

I don't by any means think this is healthy or normal...and in certain cases the ping-pongery (que?) of it kinda makes me uneasy. My emotions are so shredded I'm pretty sure I'd make a therapist rich. But black ppl don't go to shrinks...(do we?)

I mean let me clarify...on something I take as seriously as the "L" word...It's not like...I love you today, and I hate you tomorrow...That would just make me bi-polar and probably a bit out of touch...i.e nuts.

But as someone who's a tad jaded in the love department...I can love you to death and still wish u the best but not want anything to do with u period.

A friend said to me today "I just want you to be good" ( as in OK), and my response was "me too".

Cuz I wish more than anything else that i was "good" or that it was just that simple. But really what ever is?

In a perfect world....(why did typing that just make me smirk?)
I used to be able to say "in a perfect world...blah blah blah..." But oddly nothing came to mind just now. (that's crazy)

But I feel like I'm straying from the point here. I feel like i have so much built up inside of me right now...anger, confusion, sadness, (ugh i sound so geigh!) And I've analyzed myself enough to know that it's from caring too much...abt ppl that can't/won't/don't know how to return the favor.

I have a HUGE heart ( a gift and a curse)...But certain ppl will always have a place in it...But when I feel like I've been played/wronged/taken for granted/or just flat out hurt...I'll love u forever, but you'll disappear to me. I don't hide, or change my number...i don't do anything blatant. I just limit our contact til there just is NO contact...and then just smile to myself when I get the out of the blue text "Why did we stop chillin, I miss u".

Can't be healthy...and i don't know when or how that became my way of handeling things. I don't even know what the remedy for this approach would be. Makes me come off real robotic and cold in a sense.

I can give u all I've got, open my chest up and lay my heart out there for u...Be the best friend in the world to u, be the chick you can't shake, cant forget, will always want...But the SECOND...I feel like you've done me dirty/wrong in any capacity...The second you take all that for granted...or assume I'm weak...

It's like the armor comes out...UNCONCIOUSLY...just like that I harden...(to that person, place or thing)

Now when I say this scares the crap out of me...smh.

Because I know myself well enough to know this "defense mechanism" won't last forever...When you harden like that and don't let hurt builds, and builds, and builds....til u just SNAP!

See...I KNOW I'm gonna snap...just don't know, when...where, or what will cause it...

Just hoping when i do I'll be able to pick the pieces back up and put myself back together...

I almost feel like I need to wear a warning label for those closest to me...I love/care/give...TOO much...or not at ALL...

Your choice...


Thursday, September 17, 2009


"Now you caught my heart for the evening...

Kissed my cheek , moved've confused things.

Do I just sit back or come harder?

Help me find my way...."
Well right. Guess I gotta giggle...Life funny funny funny to death...