Saturday, November 29, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen!!

My laptop is HERE!!!!! OMG, I'm blogging right now out the sheer excitement of being able to dom it from the comfort of my bed...*ELATION*

Aside from coming home to a brand new early christmas gift day sucked musty swamp balls. I was at work today from 9:30 AM to 10pm. Totally and UTTERLY ridiculous....smh.

I SOOOOO need a career change...ok wait scratch that...not career...ENVIROMENT. I LOVE what I do, just not WHERE I'm doing it at...

I really feel baked honestly...and on top of that i've got the cold from hell...smh.

My nose, throat, eyes, pretty much out of commission right now. So tack that on to a gay ass work day and there u have it...My mood suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked b4 i got home...

So now I'm happily typing under my blanket...

"sigh...just when u think life SUCKS something pops up to remind you its really not so bad...

(Sheesh I feel so very Sex & the City right

Ok Carrie Bradshaw moment over....

Over and out kids!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dont know if this is real...

But...I found it...traveling the web (again)...And its eerily interesting...kinda sad, but something about it...I dunno...

Its a mummy...of a little girl that died at age 5. Her mother had her mummified to preserve her. This mummy is apparently over 80 years old and still in display in an Italian temple...

I posted it...well basically because something about it made me want to....

like I said...its kinda sad...But...I couldn't stop looking at it for some reason... (Not sorry if you find it kinda creepy.. its MY blog...)



So I'm at work today...and the oddest...almost creepy looking old man comes up to me. I was sitting at the front desk computer. So he kind a peers over the counter at me, and he's got both hands behind his back. I'm automatically weirded out...but I wasn't at work alone so I played it cool.

I said Hi, how are you? and he replied, I'm fine how are you? So I said I"m OK...And he starts smiling...
So of course in my head I'm like wtf...?

So he goes..."I see Christ in your eyes"
So I was thank you.
So he goes..."I'm a minister..."

So then I relaxed a

So He was like..."He's in your eyes...Its shining...and its beautiful..."

I really didn't even know how to respond...But I smiled and told him thank you very much...

So he looked back at me one more time smiling and walked away....

Weird...But...real...deep. Cuz at that moment, before he walked up...I was PISSED...(work crap)...
His timing was on point...

But I was reminded of the bible verse saying something about entertaining i had to come home and look it up...

Hebrews 13:2

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it."

Angel maybe? Or just a nice old man...I dunno...but he made my night....



From my Beauty Vs. Sexy Blog... I actually had a convo with JSW (<3)> about the whole issue and I'm gonna post our convo...Well the parts pertaining to the topic, lol. I found his response kinda interesting, so here goes...(Names have been changed to protect the

ME: And if u get around to it, I'm curious (and yes there's a reason behind it) what women can u think of that you find beautiful? Not cute, not sexy, not just pretty....but beautiful ------------------------ 1:12 pm ------------------------

HIM: That's a hard question to answer ------------------------ 1:15 pm ------------------------

ME: I know

ME: Thts why im askin ------------------------ 1:20 pm ------------------------

ME: Im curious about what u find beautiful

HIM: You ever seen the movie the home of the brave?

ME: No ------------------------ 1:22 pm ------------------------

ME: I can look it up though, what about it ------------------------ 1:27 pm ------------------------

HIM: Samuel l jacksons wife in the movie

HIM: Is a beautiful woman

HIM: She is older but you will get the idea

ME: Ok

ME: Lemmie look ------------------------ 1:31 pm ------------------------

ME: Victoria Rowell

ME: Ok

ME: Can u think of any others?

ME: And what do u think is the diff between beautiful and just pretty?

HIM: What do u think of her

ME: She's pretty

HIM: Pretty can be done at a moments notice

HIM: Beauty lasts throughout the ages ------------------------ 1:39 pm ------------------------

HIM: Lisa raye ------------------------ 1:41 pm ------------------------

HIM: Alicia keys ------------------------ 1:44 pm ------------------------

ME: Gotcha

HIM: That makes sense ------------------------ 1:46 pm ------------------------

ME: ok now the difference between beautiful and sexy... ------------------------ 2:05 pm ------------------------

HIM: Huh?

ME: What do u think the difference is...I mean u can be sexy but not beautiful ------------------------ 2:24 pm ------------------------

HIM: Sexy is more of looks and the way u dress and how u interact

HIM: Jada pinkett was sexy

ME: Was?

ME: Lol

HIM: Yeah was

ME: She's not anymore?

HIM: She don't have that sex appeal anymore

ME: Hmmmm

ME: Ok

ME: So who do u think is sexy?

HIM: Keri hilson

HIM: Hands down like six thirty

ME: Really?

HIM: Yeah

ME: Ok

HIM: She is cute not pretty

HIM: But she is sexy

ME: Gotcha

HIM: Lisa raye is beautiful and sexy

ME: True ------------------------ 2:33 pm ------------------------

HIM: Tamia

HIM: Pam from total was sexy

ME: True

HIM: Mc lyte is pretty age seems not to affect her

HIM: Angela basset is on her own level

ME: True again ------------------------ 2:38 pm ------------------------

ME: So if u had to choose one you'd take sexy over beautiful?

HIM: Beautiful

HIM: Sex appeal can fade like I said beauty lasts over ages

ME: You did say that...ok

ME: Makes sense ------------------------ 2:47 pm ------------------------

HIM: Love u ------------------------ 2:49 pm ------------------------

ME: Love u too

Ok so that was the convo...Sexy can fade...Beauty will last...i liked that concept. So yeah...I heart him...


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

As a girl...

I ADORE making myself feel sexy...I LIVE for it...

I don't like to be cute JUST for my man...but i like walking past a mirror and being like..."shyt I'm sexy!"

Lol...(I'm truly not this conceited) I DO truly believe in women doing things just for THEM though...

If painting ur toes naked will make u feel it!
If vacuuming in booty shots will make u feel it!
If taking a bubble bath and letting yourself air dry across the bed will make u feel it!!

Today I'm investing in a different pair of "heels" to add to my ever expanding closet...

I feel like every woman should own a pair...Wear em while you do the dishes, or cook dinner, wear em while you type at the PC, or do laundry...

Trust me it'll do WONDERS for preserving your sexy... *wink*


Beautiful or Sexy...

OK so my off days have become my major blogging days until i get my laptop, so these are the day's you'll see multiple posts from me only because I have so many thoughts running through my head I have to type what I can as i remember it.

But this topic really just came to mind as I was watching TV. I'm always curious about the definitions of true "Beauty" vs. Sex Appeal" I talk with Pammy alot about "Fine" vs. "Sexy" as far as men are concerned all the time...and I'm aware that you don't have to be fine as hell to be sexy as all get out. Sexiness is something you exude in my opinion. But I'm always looking for the input of others...

So onto the topic...It started with a Cassie video I was watching...("Official Girl") Now to me she's you're stereotypical "Video Girl" but to me she's not specifically "pretty". Then you have someone like Beyonce who..I'm not the HUGEST fan of (don't get me wrong she's talented as hell) but she's cool...She BEAUTIFUL though...

So what falls into the category of sexy, and what categorizes beauty...can u be both beautiful and sexy? (I say yes)

I'm going to post some images with this blog...

First women I find beautiful...Then women I think exude sexiness...

And lastly that rare breed that has BOTH!...

Enjoy...But I"m really curious...Whats the or sex appeal?

Now onto Sexiness....

Now the rare hybrid that seems to have BOTH of these on lock...

I could probably come up with a couple more examples...but I'm tired of searching

So enjoy the eye candy...and If i missed any let me know (I'm sure i did) And if u have your own opinions on this topic...feel free to share em...I may even do one of these on some sexy ass men later on...



Is it just me or are holidays getting more and more blah? Maybe its because of the recession we're in right now, but I've never been HUGE on the whole "Holiday's" thing...

This year specifically people just don't see "happy"...I see more stressed looks on faces this year...not as many shopping bags walking through the malls...Its just and overall "quietness" (is that a word??)

I mean Thanksgiving for me was never major...I don't have a HUGE immediate extended family could go on forever but that's a whole 'nother blog. Plus...I don't even like turkey, and the pretense of "let's all gather together and play family for 1 day" seems so phony and forced to me"

Now as far as Christmas..I LOVE receiving gifts...and I can truly say I love shopping for other people even more...(Granted I also know that this isn't what Christmas is actually ABOUT...but I'm not gonna get all deep and philosophical right now)

I tend to like Christmas a little more than Thanksgiving, and New Years can be cool depending on how I'm spending it...but in just seems like a lot of "keeping up appearances". And doing that this year with the economy being what it is just has people walking around so's all over their faces....

But thanksgiving is this week and I truly do have ALOT to be thankful for....I could list it for you but I just don't feel the need. I"m happy overall and that's enough.

So with that said...(and I hope I didn't sound like a big ole Grinch)

Enjoy the holiday's everyone...


Thursday, November 20, 2008


Sometimes when I'm floating around the web..I find images that just strike me...

I'm posting this just cuz I found it beautiful....

Ok ok...

So I must be mad hormonal..or just in some kinda "zone" today...But I'm continuing from my previous blog...

But rather than type...I think I'm gonna just are worth a thousand words...


Hopeless Romantic...

Ok so I've come to the realization that I'm a total hopeless romantic...

I was thinking about Sex & The City (my fav movie to date) and really about the show in general because I"ve been a fan since day 1. That show's made me shop, cry, and realate on so many levels for so many reasons...

What woman CAN"T relate to a "Mr Big" we've all had one...(or still do). But sitting around in my sweats reading fashion mag's and just THINKING on my day off has made me realize how much I love LOVE. I'm not soft or naive by any means...I'm just ...

I mean I live for rainy day's in bed, convo's that last all night, holding hands, walking on the beach at night, kissing in the rain, love letters, poetry, slowdancing,..."sigh...

So on my list of top 3 movies to watch on a cold, rainy day in bed alone or with "him" are

And my ABSOLUTE Favorite to date...

We're all want "him" (figuratively of course...nothing against Christ Noth, he's just not my type) Mr. Big..."sigh...

Anyone that watched the TV series remembers EXACTLY what part this was...I cried so hard....

But yeah...I love LOVE, the good, the bad, and the ugly...It makes me feel like I"m LIVING...

"Some people are settling down, some are settling...and some refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies" ~ Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City the Movie)


Tuesday, November 18, 2008



"we are the dancers"!!!


Christmas wish

Ok so I"m just gonna show ya'll some of the stuff I need to have this year. Some of which is actually do-able...and wishful

thats it for now...I could go all day..FLYNESS...utter FLYNESS I tell you!!!

Over and Out!!

Shook me to my bones...

Ok so I was at work yesterday (I work at a studio). It was Me, Shawn and Terrye. A lady walked up and inquired about doing a photoshoot. I asked Shawn to give her some info. This woman has to be 75 years old literally. She was real frail, real shakey, so Shawn took her into the back and started doing her makeup. When Terrye went in to start shooting her pictures, Shawn came up and told me the woman was a lil...I don't wanna say "off". Well she was just very very OLD. So anyway, Terrye finished the shoot and we had to edit, so she left. I watched her walk out and she looked so confused, just so lost...And the crazy part is ...that as crowded and as hectic as it was yesterday she was alone. I kept thinking "this lady looks like she can barely walk through a crowd let alone drive a car."

So I waled out to get something to drink for me and Terrye, Shawn said see if you see her walking around out there anywhere. So I said ok. I stopped at Chic-fil-a, got us some drinks and some fries for me...and I saw the woman sitting at a table by herself with a little drink and some fries.

When I got back in the studio Shawn asked if I'd seen her out there. I said yeah she's eating. She was like "Alone...thats so sad." She was right though...when I asked her what the lady was taking pics for she said she just wanted a picture of herself. She had lost her husband in 1991, and they'd never had kids together. So she's 79 (i found that out later) And 100% alone. This woman had no one...the thought almost makes me tear up right now thinking about her. I mean I thought about...what if that was MY mom, or what if that was ME...

No kids, no siblings, no husband...she lives alone. That thought shook me so hard. This woman was taking a pic of herself and she had no one to even give it to. "sigh
I don't know if I'm coming across right typing this, but I felt...almost scared for her.

I mean, who does she call when she needs something? Who will notice if something happens to her?

Thats so scarey to me. I sat with her, showed her her pictures, let her pick out the one she wanted and ordered it for her...all the while thinking I just want someone to come help her...Come drive her home, or come help her find the bus.

We were all pretty quiet in there for a bit after she left...I guess we were all thinking all those "what if's" that pop into your heard when you hear about things like that.

I had to come straight home and call my mom. Be thankful for what you have and who you have around you...Some people REALLY and TRUELY aren't that lucky. Just take a second to think...what if you had NO ONE?


Monday, November 17, 2008

Tie My Hands

My addiction right now...

It Burns...

You ever love so hard it makes your chest burn? Ever felt like you mightve lost that?
Dosent the thought make you totally nauseous?!
" heads throbbing.

And whats worse...the one person that can get you out of feeling this way is the one that got u there to start with? Wtf!?

Talk about fighting a losing battle...My heart hurts, my soul hurts...Ever wonder where the word heart-break comes from? All it takes is for you to feel it one time and you'll know.

Im listening to depressing shyt right now floating somewhere between fear, anger, hurt, and confusion.

I want to talk to him so bad...I mean I'm fighting the whole "pick up the phone" thing. Not because I don't want to talk, but because A. I feel like it may really be a wrap, and B. Because I think we're both too fired up to do anything but make it worse.

Sux really does. I mean..I'm a sense.

I dont know what to think, to feel, or to do...I'm like on pause.

But this pain I'd never wish on anyone...not my worst enemy. It's that deep...

The plan for tonight is to go home..get on my couch, with my depressing ass music, a bottle of wine, and a blanket. I oddly enough don't want to cry...(but the nights young) Think, think, think some more, see if he calls although im 75% sure thats not happening.

Wow...yeah it burns. Burns real real bad.


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Word Vomit...

Random interjection...I watched "Mean Girls" for the gillionth time the other day. I absolutely ADORE that movie.

Moving right along. It's FREEZING, I'm not blogging on specifics right now. I'm just in the mood to type. I was talkin to my Kimmers today on IM ( I know 3 Kim's) this Kim is my NYCDOPEDIVASHOPPINGCLONESUPERM.I.L.FHOMIE. So yeah ...we were doing the whole online shopping thing. My Laptop is very FIRST on my list, and then of course there are like 4 pairs of shoes I must have...I swear I'm destined for greatness. I must be, how else am I gonna be able to afford this nasty shopping habit I seem to have.

Aside from that I was on ebay ( of course) I'm a full believer in everyone "collecting" something...ANYTHING really. I think it keeps u kinda sane.
I have 3 main things I truly do collect.

My Little Pony's (the vintage ones only pls.)
Fafi anything, lol
and alot of Tokidoki stuff...

If u dont know what those are ur 1. Lame as all Hell and need to get out of the house stat! and 2. Need to just look it up!

My reading room is gonna consist of all these collectibles. I don't really know what I'm going to do with all this "stuff" once I get done...maybe pass it on to my daughter if I'm lucky enough to have one... But for now I just enjoy looking at it.

DEUCES til next time Bitches!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Ok so I feel like I'm in a place right now where I'm learning myself all over again. I guess sometimes it makes me feel a lil scattered and a lil crazy to think about answering the question "Who am I". I mean I know so many "Deep" people...that can talk for hours about who they are and what they're about. The thought alone of trying to do that is so overwhelming to me!! How am I supposed to tell you who I am? Am I supposed to have all that figured out? I'm so many different things, what one term or phrase fits?!
I'm not JUST any one thing...
I'm hood, but I'm prissy
I'm a tomboy, but I'm girly,
I'm a lover AND a fighter
And jealous, but aloof
I'm quiet, but I'm opinionated
I"m silly, but I'm serious
I'm sweats and converse, but I'm heels and tight jeans
I'm hardcore, but I'm a softy
I'm a hopeless romantic, but a stone-cold realist

Dosen't that sound confusing!?

I'm R&B on a rainy day, or blasting hip-hop with my car windows down.

So when you break it down...does it make sense?!

Truly part of me says it dosent even matter if it does. At the end of the day who has to understand me....?

Answer: Shyt I gotta understand me!!

I guess I understand that I don't make sense, lol.

For some reason I guess it just seems like the rest of the worlds got it, while I'm sitting here scratching my head. Maybe it just looks like that because I'm on the idea what everyone else is thinking. And I'm pretty sure I APPEAR to have it aaaaaaaaaaaall together.

HA!, lol

Mannn...I guess I'll get it one day...or maybe never. Maybe its not terrible if I never do.

A Day in the Life...

Ok so I'm just getting started...Im not a "blogger" and I kinda got the urge to start. I have so much going on on a day to day basis. I feel like A. I need to get it out, and B. I"m pretty damn intruiging if I do say so myself. (tee-hee). Ok so yeah. This is post 1.

Over and out Bitches!