Friday, March 13, 2009


I'm a list-maker.

I'm good for ...writing (typing) things out, cuz it kinda clears space up in the cabeza for other shyt.

So I was thinkin and talkin today, and you know how your parents are always tellin you how "short" life is? Well I kinda feel like you've officially hit the point of being grown (logical) when you realize...They were RIGHT. Life is short. And at different points during my day today, I was thinking all kinds of stuff( when I should've been working).

Like...when I'm a grandma, what kinds of stories will I be able to tell my grand kids?
Where have I traveled to? Who have I met? What notable have I accomplished?

And I'm not saying I've done none of the above...I just wanna be able to say MORE.

I want to have one of those success stories like...."I remember when I used to mop up at my studio ( that I currently work at), and now I own my own!!" Or... "Now I do makeup around the world for celebrity clientele"

Everyone wants to be able to say they've seen their DREAM come to pass..."All that playin in my moms makeup and clothes paid off and now I'm a stylist/makeup artist"

Anyone that tells you they don't care what they do ...they just wanna get paid, Is a friggin liar...or just has no dream. Which is sad within itself.

You WANT to do what you love. It's an unexplainable feeling when you LOVE your JOB. Like...I'm don't what I'm passionate about and people are paying me for it! How bananas does that sound?

Look at Rachel Zoe, or Toni Acey, or Derek Blanks....You can't tell me that money can buy the feeling you get from doing what you LOVE to do.

I don't think you could PAY any one of them to walk away from fashion, makeup or photography for all the money in the world.

Life is 100% percent what you make it, and I feel like i need to be making much more of mine. I mean I don't feel like I'm WASTING it in the least...But I just know there's ...more.

So I've said in joking, or in passing to a few close friends. And I think I'm serious. I'm starting over...Starting from scratch.

The job/career
The finances
The home
...and all that is just the tip of the iceberg. But I"m up for the challenge. I'mma HAVE stories to tell dammit!!

It's time to prioritize and get things in ORDER, which will in turn get the ball rolling...

Any successful person can't TELL u a successful story...without mentioning the blood, sweat, tears and doors closed on them they had BEFORE they got to where they are today.

Ask Diddy, Ask Russell, Ask Oprah...

I don't need to be on CRIBS, or be un-realistically wealthy. All I want is success, and love/passion for what I do.

I see so many people with true raw TALENT , and because they don't know how to capitalize on it, or what to DO with goes to waste. I can't let that be me. I need a success story not...a coulda, shoulda, woulda story....

I don't wanna be able to say I wasted my youth, and If i could do it over....

I mean don't get me wrong ...there's ALWAYS something(s) you wish you could go back and do differently...But I don't want to say I need to re-live my live cuz I did it wrong the first go-round.

I'm just working on me right now. And I guess I don't have time for much else...

And for anyones feelings that get hurt...I make no apologies for being driven. That's just the truth...But I guess anyone I hold close to my heart will understand that.


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